Friday, December 31, 2010

End of the year

The year is almost over and boy did it fly by!  As I look back on the past year, I realize that a lot has changed.  I have found a church that I love and attend regularly.  I am actually getting baptized Jan 2nd!  I wanted to read the whole bible this year and I am proud to say that I have! :)  lost my job but recently have gotten another one.  I finally went to the dentist, something that I had been putting off for a long long time, and survived!  But most of the changes you may not notice.  Most of the changes have been within me.  My priorities have changed.  My focus had mostly been on having a baby and while that is still important it is not my top priority.  We will continue to try to have a baby, which is taking longer than we had thought. 2 1/2 years and counting!

This year my little love bug had her first day at school.  And she isn't so little any more.  Where did my little baby go?????? She has turned into a beautiful and fun "big girl"!  She is turning out to be like me.  I can't get her into a dress, she loves to wrestle, likes cars and sometimes plays with her dolls. She is no girlie girl, that's for sure!

In January I will be starting my oral meds for our next round of IVM. (See previous post)  I have to be on them for at least 3 months before doing any procedures.  Hopefully no more mayor expenses  pop up.  We have already had to buy 4 new tires for the truck, a  new fuel pump for my explorer, our cat was diagnosed with cancer so we had to put her down, our pitt has a bacterial infection on her skin and the rotti is due for her annual shots.  It seems like it is never ending sometimes.  So hopefully in April/May we will begin again.

As I sit here, I wonder what this next year will hold for our family.  Will will finally have the baby that we have dreamed of for so long?  Will I like my new job?  Will the economy get any better?  Where will we go for vacation?  Will I be able to do all the things that I want to do?  Will I ever be able to get my love bug in a dress????????????

Who knows what this year will bring. I do know that there will be laughter, plenty of hugs, probably some pain and some tears.  A roller coaster would be no fun without the ups and downs.  I only get to ride this life once and I want to enjoy it!  I pray that the times of laughter outnumber the times of pain and there are more hugs than tears.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Busy Week

This past week was so busy and this week seems to be the same.  Last week was busy with preschool, work, speech therapy and meeting up with people.  I recently started the journey book series and so I had to rearrange my schedule to do that.  I also joined a womens group too.  So my life is busy right now but it's a good busy.  My week may be filled but I still have those quiet moments that I treasure so much with my love bug.  I love it when we are watching tv and she curls up on my lap.  Just today when I picked her up from preschool she said "I missed you mama". Those words brought tears to my eyes.  Its hard to pick her up from preschool in the first place.  There are about 5 moms there that have little babies with them.  I can't believe how painful it is to see all these babies.  Then I have to listen to them complain about them.  I just want to shout at them. Don't you realize the gifts that God has given you?????  Don't complain, be thankful!  They don't realize how blessed they are.  That's why I treasure all those quiet tender moments and I refuse to get too busy so that I don't take the time to notice them.

But on a happier note, right now I am trying to get everything together for our trip next week.  We are leaving on Friday to go to New York to see the changing of the leaves. This will be the first time my love bug has used the camper.  I think it will be a great experience!  I am very excited for this trip!!!  This picture was the last time we went to New York.  It's so beautiful there and relaxing there.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Collection of Songs

People sometimes ask me how I stay so positive and happy with everything that is going on.  I have good days and bads and thankfully the good outnumber the bad.  When I do have a bad day, I have a collection of songs that I listen to that give me the strength to keep moving forward.  All of my songs are not listed.....yet.  So if you are having a bad day, just listen to one of these songs.  They will give you the faith and courage to keep going, to give it the good fight.

And if you have any good songs that you think should be on the list, let me know!

Song  -  Artist

What Faith Can Do - Kutless

While I'm Waiting - John Waller

Before The Morning - Josh Wilson

Voice of Truth - Casting Crowns

More Like Falling in Love - Jason Gray

Savior, Please - Josh Wilson

I'm Not Alright - Sanctus Real

Whatever You're Doing - Sanctus Real

Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) - Chris Tomlin

East To West - Casting Crowns

Burn For You - Toby Mac

Praise You In This Storm - Casting Crowns

Mighty Wave - Sarah Reeves

No Matter What - Kerrie Roberts

Strong Enough - Matthew West

I would Die for That -  Kellie Coffey

The Dreams I Dream For You - avalon

Just Cry - Couldn't find who sang it but here is a link

There Is A Reason - Caedmon's Call

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Needs vs. wants

This weekend I had so much fun!  I got to attend the wedding of a really good friend.  It was amazing!  Plus it was great to see some of my friends that I haven't seen in a long time.  The ceremony was intimate and right on the lake.  They did something really cool and it was called the "ring warming".  I had never heard of this before.  Each guest gets to hold the rings, say a silent prayer/blessing for the marriage, and then pass it to the next guest.  I thought that was really cool!

I don't tend to get overly emotional at weddings until someone else starts to cry.  I was fine until the bride started to get emotional while saying her vows.  That's when I started to get teary eyed.  I thought back to my own wedding, how nervous and excited I was.  I love my husband more today than when we got married.  I realized how happy I was.  I may be going through some things that are tough and draining, but I am truely happy.  I have a wonderful and supportive husband, a beautiful daughter and a family that will be there no matter what.  I am in good health and so is everyone else in my family.  My life is not perfect and is not going as I had thought is would, but I am happy.  I may not have everything that I WANT, but I have everything that I NEED!  And that's what is really important.  It can be very hard to tell the difference sometimes but its essential that you do.  We can't waste time chasing things that are really just distractions.  Focus on what is really important.  I pray that you all have experienced  the joy and happiness that I have.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

2nd day of school

Today was my love bug's second day of preschool.  Since day one went well, you would think day two would be a breeze.  You would be wrong.  Since I was a little late the first day, I made sure I left with plenty of time.  The class starts at 9:30am and I got there at 9:20am.  The classroom was not open!!!!! The teachers aide said they were not ready yet so we would have to wait.  Have to wait?!?!?!?!?! Thats crazy talk if you ask me.  Lilly was fine went we got there but with every minute we had to wait, the whining got worse!  "Go home mommy go home!"  Ugh! It was torture!!  Finally at 9:30am the doors opened! She whined a little bit but when I peeked in around the corner she was fine.  It would've been a lot easier if they were ready when I got there.  When I picked her up I asked her if she wanted to go back and she said "yea".  We are making progress! :0)  I wonder what Thursday will be like?????

Friday, September 17, 2010

The First Day of Preschool

Well, my little love bug had her first day at preschool. It couldn't have gone any better. I had been worried about the "drop off" since leaving her at the nursery school at church is usually filled with screams and tears. But she just walked right in. I think I did great too. I did get teary eyed walking out the building. But hey, thats my little girl and she is growing up way too fast. Plus I know that I may never have aother "first day at preschool" and that hurts too.

I came home and the house seemed so empty without her and so very quiet. I sat down at the computer and before I knew it, it was time to get her. The class is only an hour and a half so it went by quick. When I picked her up, she had the biggest smile on her face! I asked if she had fun and she said "yea". Of course when I asked her if she wanted to go back, she said no. So we shall see what happens next week!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

We have a new plan

Well, I saw our infertility doctor yesterday and we have a new game plan.  It stinks that so far nothing has worked but onward we must go.  So they new plan is called mini-stim IVF.  Here is the link that describes it in detail.  I am just glad that we haven't run out of options yet.  I know some people would go through all this, spend all this money and do not end up with a baby.  That is heartbreaking.  So when are we going to start you ask???? Maybe early next year.  We have to save up the money for this and get ready mentally.  I will also need to be on my oral meds for a couple of months before we try.

I will be taking something called DHEA.  Anybody heard of it?  Studies have found that women being treated for infertility who also received supplements of DHEA were three times more likely to conceive than women being treated without the additional drug.  It's supposed to increase to quality of the eggs.  But there is a down side of course.  Masculinization may occur in women, including acne, greasy skin, facial hair, hair loss, increased sweating, weight gain around the waist, or a deeper voice.  I'm gonna take it and see what happens.  If I start looking like a mogwai, (HAHA)I will stop.  But you never know until you try.

I will also be on Coenzyme Q10.  This one is harder to explain but it helps give the egg the energy it needs.  You can google it if you like.

Plus I will be on birth control.  It still cracks me up that in order for me to get pregnant, I need to be on birth control.

My doctor says it shouldn't be this hard to get me pregnant. I'm young, healthy, have enough eggs and have had a successful pregnancy already.  My body just doesn't want to respond to the medications. I still feel that this is the path God wants me to take.

So does anyone have questions???????

Psalm for the Day