Perfect timing. It was what I needed to pick myself up and get my work done. It didn't take the pain away but it made it possible for me to keep going. I'm not sure what the future holds. But I do know that HE is listening even if it feels like He is not. I have to remind myself that His plan is better than anything I could ever dream up. I just have to wait to see how it all unfolds. The problem is that I HATE waiting! I feel like I have waited long enough! But why do I question God? Why do I feel like I am entitled to some answers? God is eternal, infinite, omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. Why should I (someone who is not eternal, infinite, omniscient, omnipresent, or omnipotent) expect to be able to fully understand God’s ways? I can't.
All of this has been a lesson in trust. Oh its so easy to trust when things are going great. but to trust when things are falling apart is hard. Everyone has those moments where it seems really hard to trust God. Where you feel completely alone and abandoned, where it feels almost impossible that anything good could come from what you’re going through. Where “God has a plan” just rings hollow.
But the bottom line is that trust isn’t about feelings. It’s a choice. An act of will. It’s a decision to hold onto faith, even when everything around you seems to be falling apart. I believe that’s the kind of faith that God finds most pleasing, and rewards accordingly. And this is what I have been learning.
This is the first song that came on when I turned my car on to leave work.